I am so confused.

Lianne, Maastricht

I am so confused.

Sorry for not posting for a while but rediscovering that the internet in some form survived caused quite a stir here. We only have access to two laptops (phones can’t seem to get the signal, is that similar to where you are?) and we spend a lot of time trying to access information or send messages to others. 

So far with little luck. If only google had survived; I am too spoiled when it comes to internet searching! The strange thing is though that even on the websites that still exist we can’t find anything. I mean, if there is internet, surely the government would use it right?

I mean… if I can communicate with people all over the world, the proper authorities must do this as well? I really want to find some answers but so far… nothing. And it bugs me! If you can help in any way, please fill in some of the gaps for me, it’d be greatly appreciated here. 

Too be honest I haven’t shared this blog with the rest (yet). I am not sure why. I guess I cannot give up the idea to have something private, something that is special. I grew close with the group we live here with, and I guess we’ve become somewhat of an extended family, but I miss privacy. 

For obvious reasons we share everything and everything we do is for the common good. I get that. But having some things just for yourself. Or even to have private moments with those you’re closest too. That stuff makes me feel like I'm still human. 

Alice, I kinda understand what you meant, but to be honest my experience is the opposite. I was on my own and in my own head a lot before the outbreak but now… I am never by myself anymore, or even just with a few friends. There are always at least 10 people around. Whether I am eating, sleeping, running a mission, do chores; ALL THE TIME. It’s making me feel like I’m on edge all the time. 

Internet duty (I guess a new chore now) is mainly just Dirk and me, because he knows technical communication and I own the laptop we search on. It feels like such a relief. Anyway, back to work. We are trying to set up a rudimentary email system between our two computers so that we can perhaps use it to stay in touch with travelers that pass through the area. It’s not that easy, because we have to do everything outside (obviously no signal in a bunker XD) which causes a security issue as well. For now just daytime, within side of the main entrance guards, while the scouts are out. I’ll tell you about that system some other time I guess. 

Talk to you soon and stay safe everybody!

Liannne