So much for Spring.

Pastor Dan
Fox River Valley QZ
Eastern Wisconsin

You know, for a week or so there, I thought things were finally really warming up again. But I've seen snow off and on all week. The locals tell me that's actually pretty standard for April in Wisconsin, and this guy who used to be a meteorologist said that with all the burning happening... well, everywhere, that it was to be expected to get worse before it got better.

It's odd that I actually welcomed the cold snap, though. It slows the groaners down. And I've been on a few runs lately.

I'm not gonna lie to you guys, sometimes I don't know why I keep on. Not why I haven't swallowed a bullet, or anything like that, but why I keep trying to be... well, Pastor Dan. Instead of just Dan.

When we got here (and they let me out of solitary) they did that thing they do where they rank your usefulness based on skills. Our "fitness for duty." Our hunters did pretty well... they were all put on wall guard. Our farmers were treated like royalty, and any mechanics or electricians got high marks as well.

I didn't really have any of that. There wasn't a lot of call for theological training, or creative writing. At least I still had a fit body, but as far as the Commandant was concerned that made me a grunt, around for heavy lifting and runner duty. Hence all my running. He decided not to make me stop preaching, but refused to allocate space or make allowance for time. I would do it in my spare time, in any spot I could stand, and people could sit and listened if they liked.

From basically running the Compound to being a useless irritation in the QZ.

I didn't really mind it too bad, though. I can't say that I particularly LIKED having life and death decisions on my plate. And my people still respected me as a preacher, even if the others in the QZ were almost as wary as the Commandant.

Another change was, as a pastor, I was no longer the only show in town. We also have two Lutherans, a group of Catholic priests, a Rabbi, a Methodist and even an Imam who had been lecturing in Milwaukee when everything fell apart. We all just kind of find some space and do what we do. My people mostly stayed with me, though, and so I had the biggest crowd.

Up until Easter.

I was pretty stupid. Easter was always so joyous, so magical. You could get a congregation to do anything at Easter time, you always got your biggest crowds and best energy. Not this time. Christ was risen from the dead, and that put him in a company of, by best estimates, several billion. It wasn't good news anymore... and so the spell was broken.

The people listen now, for the most part, because there isn't much else to do. There are a few true believers yet, and I think they're the ones I keep doing it for. The ones who use it to keep their heads up. I can't let them down. But sometimes I want to.

It's not that I don't believe any more, really I do, but it would be easier to just be the brute force labor, to hold back and not always have the Commandant looking at me, waiting for me to start preaching poisoned kool-aid.

I really should try to be more up-beat in these things.