Thank all the gods.

Sarah Evans
QZ Zone, Central California

Hi.

It's been a few weeks. I'm sorry. We had...a situation.

I want to talk about it and then I don't want to talk about it? But I think if I don't talk about it I'll go utterly mad, and I can't talk about it with people here because they're all just as shocked and devastated as I am.

Well...most of them are.

Alice, I now know why you never want to see another zombie baby. And heads'-up. If any of you have pregnant women in your midst, watch them carefully. We let a VERY pregnant survivor inside, when she and her husband made it to us somehow. She was breathing heavy but seemed to be largely okay...not very chatty but not exhibiting any of the signs of a Groaner, you know? (I like that term for them.) Just pregnant, and kind of sick, and tired, and so we let her in because we felt bad for her, because I mean, fuck, hi baby, welcome to the fucking apocalypse.

That baby came out beet-red and screaming bloody murder. Not the normal cry a baby gives when it's being born...no. This was a howl of pure rage and pain, and even when it was still attached to its momma it tried to bite at the people helping her give birth.

(It's easier for me to call her an it. It's easier for me to dehumanize her. Instead of remembering that she had a thick head of dark hair and was totally perfect...and practically dead before she drew her first breath. Like having a stillborn, only the stillborn's screaming...)

...

Sorry.

We had to kill it. The mother lost her mind with grief. We don't think she was actively sick but we're really not sure. She got shot in the face when she flung herself at the Captain. Her husband...

We're still not sure about him. He's here but...he's not coping so great. I think he might leave, soon.

At least we gave them a grave.  At least it wasn't worse.

But I watched that whole family crumble and I can't help but think about my own family. My sister had cancer, before. She beat it, but--would it make her more susceptible? Did they even make it out of the city? Are they alive out there...somewhere? I can't cry here. The kids I watch wouldn't even know how to handle that.

I want you all to know that even though I don't know any of you in person, I love you all. You're my beacons of hope that someday, when things get better, we can be connected in person. I will buy every single one of you the drink of your choice, when that day comes.

...But speaking of. Has anyone heard from DZ, down in Colombia? He hasn't posted anything...I really hope he's okay. I hope you're all okay. Stay strong. Keep writing. Remember that humanity is here, and it is living, not dying.

Much love.